Effective Parenting: Positive Support for Families

The issue of how to provide appropriate and adequate parenting and discipline
is of great concern to the educational community. Parents want well-behaved
children. They want children to grow up to be contented, productive,
responsible and self disciplined. Some children's behaviors are particularly
challenging. Noncompliance and aggressive behaviors can bring out the worst
in parents. Neither extremes of severe physical punishment nor limitless
freedom will lead to long-term behavior change. School psychologists can help
parents and caregivers develop practical and effective ways of disciplining
and parenting children.

Discipline is a word that makes most people uncomfortable. It is typically
used as a synonym for punishment, often for physical punishment. Discipline
comes from the Latin word disciplina meaning instruction or teaching.
Discipline, so defined, places the parent as the leader or teacher and the
child as the student. A parent teaches values, good judgment, self control
and caring for others through daily interactions with children. A parent sets
limits and makes appropriate responses when a child does something that is
in conflict with parental wishes. Effective parenting is safe, nurturing and
instructive. Physical punishment can be harmful physically, emotionally and
socially. It is usually ineffective because it does not teach appropriate
behaviors, but teaches that hitting is acceptable in dealing with others.
The National Association of School Psychologists supports the use of discipline
practices that treat children with respect while shaping their behavior to
encourage self-control and caring for others.


Preventing Behavior Problems

The National Association of School Psychologistsbelieves that the following
parenting practices help prevent the development of behavior problems in
children:


Developing a trusting relationship

When children feel loved and respected by parents, they want to please them.
Parents form trusting relationships with their children by exhibiting
predictable and mature behavior and by protecting them from harm. Children
who feel safe to make mistakes can learn to make better decisions in the
future. A trusting relationship between parents and children is the
cornerstone of effective discipline.


Developing appropriate expectations

Children need to understand the expectations their parents have for them,
and they need to feel they can meet those expectation. These expectations must
be appropriatefor the child's age, temperament, and abilities. Children with
learning or behavioral disabilities provide additional challenges to parents
who must adjust their expectations to their child's unique needs and
developmental patterns.


Setting limits

Limits can help children feel that the world is orderly, predictable and
safe. Parents should consider the child's age and development when setting
limits. Limits should be enforced consistently, and there should be clear
and appropriate consequences when those limits are challenged.


Offering praise

Praising children's appropriate behavior will increase that behavior. Praise
for specific behaviors is the basis for effective behavior management and
should be used abundantly.


Effective Ways of Dealing with Misbehavior

The National Association of School Psychologists urges school psychologists
to promote the development of effective discipline practices through the
following interventions:


Early intervention programs

Home visitation programs for parents of newborns are an effective means of
teaching and supporting parents in the difficult job of raising children.
These programs provide parents with knowledge about normal development,
realistic expectations, and how to keep babies healthy and safe. School
psychologists can take a leadership role in developing community support for
these programs.


School-wide programs to encourage effective discipline

Peer mediation, conflict resolution, and social skills training are all
proven ways to help children develop responsible behavior. By incorporating
regular communication with parents and opportunities for their participation,
the effectiveness of these programs can be enhanced. School psychologists can
bring leadership, research, and management skills to the development of these programs.


Consultation to parents

School psychologists have unique opportunities to talk with parents about
discipline. In consulting with parents on children's learning and behavior
problems, school psychologists can provide a) behavioral expectations
appropriate to the child's age and development, b) alternative methods of
behavior management such as time out, logical consequences, behavioral
contracting, positive reinforcement, and privilege systems, and c)
information about school and community resources such as parenting programs
and professional help available beyond school services.


Parent education classes

School psychologists are in an ideal position to provide parent training
using a variety of research-supported parent education programs. They can
help parents develop positive approaches to behavior management including
limit setting, use of praise and reinforcement, giving effective commands,
reducing negative parent-child interactions, and using negotiating and
mediation. School psychologists can also provide guidance for parents on
school-related concerns such as homework, report cards, and peer relationships.


Summary

Raising self-disciplined children is one challenge among many facing parents
in American society today. Parents have little or not training in effective
parenting and they are often removed from extended families which have in
the past been available to provide support and relief from the stress of child
rearing. Discipline is too often viewed as punishment which may lead parents
to equate more discipline with harsher punishments.

The National Association of School Psychologists encourages school
psychologists and other professionals working with children and families to
help parents develop effective discipline practices that are positive, safe,
and instructive. School psychologists can help parents by supporting,
developing, and implementing school and community programs which build
healthy parent-child relationships and strengthen the home to enable
children to become caring and responsible members of society.
Adopted by NASP Delegate Assembly, April 18, 1998